I started this gmail account and this google doc so I could write for a little bit everyday about the things that matter. Nothing matters, and that’s why I made the font Comic Sans. Taking yourself seriously is never a good idea, it makes you vulnerable. Everything is a joke, remember that next time she asks you if you’re okay. You aren’t okay, but that’s okay, because you can always laugh.
On Twitter:
I don’t wanna go on and on, I want to talk about myself. My @ and my email is sixthreeirl. I hate talking about height, even though I'm 6’4. It means nothing about a person, but people still care. I love that people have to confirm my height when they name me, it adds physicality back into the mix. When you talk on twitter you’re interacting through text. The text itself is monolithic, it’s divorced from any individual identity.
I’d like to talk about identity for a bit. I will not spill enough black blood in this google doc to cover everything I want to say, but I can at least give you the cliffnotes. The internet is abusive to real life centralized identity. When you interact as yourself on twitter, your very being is judged by the cold calculations of the twitter algorithm. Who you are becomes divorced from the person outside of the app, and then twitter’s carrot/stick like system re-internalizes the distinct personality that the twitter algorithm has created. This is exactly the same process that the social structure in real life does as well. However, there is one crucial difference; twitter users are not accountable for who you become. Society, to a degree, is accountable. This is a soft rule, but it means that you can trust your parents more than you can trust @nazigroyperanimepedophile on twitter dot com.
On Manifestos: Manifestos have always been trite, always been cliche. A good manifesto has some core points, but doesn’t degenerate into a narcissistic autobiography. Ted had a good manifesto, Eliot didn’t. Why? Ted had ideas, Ted had content, Eliot had a life story. Funnily enough, Ted’s life story still manages to be more interesting than Eliot’s, and he still wrote a better Manifesto. I would never write a Manifesto, but i’d love to live out a literary work.
On Destiny: When Pound was close to thirty, he decided he was going to become the best poet the world had ever seen. When Mishima started writing, he mourned the fact that he never entered the Army and decided to die a hero’s death. Christ did the same. Danny Brown did it as well with XXX. Miya said she was going to make it, she made it. Only a collection of deranged self-obsessed aesthetes could come up with something so beautiful. I wonder what story I will choose to write.
On Personal Websites:I am now going to talk about personal websites. I will build my own personal website, like a prison cell. It will have esoteric writings on the wall, books splayed out across the floor, and incomprehensible math equations on the ceilings. I have so much inspiration for a good website too. Miya has 2+ good websites, the neocities one and the vedawarez drug user one; ill link em.
1: https://miya-miya.neocities.org/ 2: http://veda-warez.xn--6frz82g/wiki/doku.php?id=home ARPA has a good website too. It’s not meant to be a library, but it’s so aesthetically pleasing that I don’t care. I can’t find it now, which is unfortunate. Here’s edith reisin, esoteric drug website 1:https://edith.reisen/
On Anne’s Letter, Time, Schizophrenia, the Internet, David Foster Wallace, and Our Ruling Class:
This is Jane/Anne/HapaXanth/Whoever’s letter about the nature of the internet. It’s a good read, it makes me think about time. Time isn’t measured by a universal clock, it’s measured by the contrast between events. Quarantine time is slow time, every day is the same. Depression Era factory workers lived terrible lives, but they were the lives of mosquitos. Napoleon was immortal, he lived a thousand lives. Jeff Bezos is a depression era factory worker, he's the industrial man on top. All he can do is inject more test and count more checks, the money doesn’t matter, they turned off the scoreboard years ago. He’ll never fix the past, he has no paintings, no manors, no bloodline. He’s a product of industrial capitalism, and he’ll never understand the ruling class of an earlier era BECAUSE HE SELLS BOOKS.. Big Ep is my dad, I love him. Mexican sex ranch, spirit cooking, international pedophile of mystery; he was big guy. He lived some lives, and when it was all over he died, or he killed himself. I hope he killed himself, because it means he went out on his own terms. Even though he was only middle management in the international pedophile cabal, he fell on his own sword like a king. Emily met Ghislaine Maxwell at a Lemony Snicket book q and a thing, just shows how funny it all is. Back to time, talking about it. This short paragraph will last forever if I can keep jerking you around. I'll give you the kind of whiplash that’ll break your neck. That’s why I love contrast, I’m making you read infinite jest in a paragraph. I'll never read infinite jest, because he killed himself. Fucking pussy, ill never kill myself, because i’ve gotta get some fucking pussy. See, there’s a lot there. Back to time again, just to prove my point. I need some more contrast, and I need it now. That’s the secret to immortality, embracing that chaos. Every day a new dragon, everyday a new paragraph. That’s why there’s a page break here.
On Obscure Fetishes and Paraphilias:
The worst part of being a woman is being worried about what people want from you. Every man is a predator, every woman is competition. Currently we’re in the golden age of the feminine form. Men like the meat and potatoes of women, but they don’t have the holistic understanding of women. The goal of attraction is to have a subtle understanding of woman, to evaluate the feminine as a form instead of a subject. This means that a pair of bolt ons won’t fix the ugliness that permeates the type of person who would get a pair of bolt-ons. The subject of sexual attraction is reproduction, in a catholic way. It’s all about the child, the milk, the vaginal cavity. This isn’t erotic at all! A pagan attraction is an appreciation for form, the feminine as a hositic entity. It’s about wrists, collarbones, the subtle.
On Nikki Minaj: If you can sing all of super bass you’re gay. Sorry to be the one to tell you. Same if you know the Nikki verse in Monster. I love Nikki Minaj.
ON IDENTITY TRAPS (MOST IMPORTANT): There was a two year period of time in which I had severe, almost debilitating gender dysphoria. I was just on the cusp of puberty, from 13-15 and I wanted to die regularly. I lost about 30 pounds, grew my hair down to my collarbone, and dressed as feminine as I could without others noticing. I’d flip my painfully short hair over my forehead in the mirror and pretend that I was audrey hepburn. It was a terrible time in my life, but it taught me so much.
First of all, GD is easy to gaslight into someone. The creation myth of the ftm is universal, and particularly applicable to the type of overly online young boy that is often targeted. Oh, you played with girls’ toys, you’re a girl now. You can go for it if you want, but if you’re six four with loose skin and muscle you’re better off getting jacked so you can fuck them. I’m getting off track, let's talk about identity.
Identity must be many things:
-Flexible: able to be changed to fit the current situation
-Protective: Don’t let other people make you trans that’ll fuck you up
-Digestible: The individual parts of your identity should be congruent with each other. This makes it easier for people to understand you, which is a good thing. Become a brand.
-Apparent: If you need to go out of your way to get the world to confirm your identity, it isn’t good enough. The LARP needs to be second nature, and it should be obvious to the world around you. Exhibit A: you have ffs, you’re on E, and you pass, you’re good
-Positive: Don’t ever identify with the qualities you dislike about yourself, this makes it harder to get rid of them
On different types of billionaires: If I had more time on my hands, I would make a billionaire tier list. Not based on how I view them as people, but on their PR, and their overall aesthetic. I appreciate Bill Gates, because of how strange he is. Any normal person would act completely differently with Bill Gates money, and his faux modesty is appreciated. It’s multidimensional too, because Bill’s trick works perfectly on White Collar office workers, but those at the bottom can see with their eyes how strange and alien he is. Zuckerberg is a different story, because it’s obvious how uncomfortable he is all of the time. His inability to do the Bill Gates bit correctly adds charm for me, because his terminal autism humanizes him. For people like this, Buffet, Gates, and Zuck, it’s the tamer right hand path of being a billionaire. Driving normal cars, eating normal food, and talking to good ‘ol down to earth folks in the middle of the country. However, this is categorically false. The ego of these men must be satisfied somehow, and they have chosen Crusader Complex World Saving projects to do the trick. Instead of buying ermine cloaks and fancy rugs, they have chosen to invade your personal life because they “know better than you do”. That being said, I have no personal beef with any of these people. I wish I lived in an earlier time, where I could go live in the woods as a hermit.
On Blood Meridian
The Judge has got to be one of my favorite characters in all of literature. I almost idolize him to a point. He is evil, but he does it effortlessly. I respect his sprezzatura, every drop of blood in the sand is another stroke on his canvas,the world. He laughs, he sings, and he dances with women. He kills priests, rapes children, and gives false witness without a moment’s hesitation. He is a favorite. I respect his knowledge, he entertains the gang with his discussions of cosmology and his esoteric secrets of the world. He is both physically and mentally strong, and more importantly he is never out of his comfort zone. He sees this plane for what it is, a game board that deserves a player with style. The plot of the book is his plot, he determines how the painting will turn out. He is a self author of the strongest kind, a self author that writes his story on the world in red marker.
M y own tweet from earlier:
“He speaks like he was there from the beginning, an ancient evil that has seen all men die and all flowers wilt. A thousand newborns, a thousand mourners dressed in black. No one can surprise him, no secrets are left for him. His Law comes from the trees and the rocks, the subtle vibrations of the earth. No books will phase him, no gods will sway him from his path. His purpose is suffering, a path befitting a sculptor of such unbelievable skill. A man like this can only respect one thing, commitment to oneself. He loves the world like a father, because he was there when it was birthed. A tyrannical father, killing the son to make a man. He bears false witness, a punishment for those who doubt themselves. Those who cross him will remember him, and he remembers all of them. He believes in pain, he is an artisan of suffering. He believes in you and me.”
On Homosexuality: I don’t believe in homosexuality, it doesn’t exist. I also don’t believe in gender, but that concept is useful heuristically. In the words of /lgbt/, “bottoms are women.” Homosexuality as a linear indentity shouldn’t apply to pederasty, and considering how much of homosexuality is simulated (or real) pederasty, the label loses its usefulness. Feminine guys are more attractive than the vast majority of women, and their impression of femininity beats femininity often. Then again, I'm biased. I appreciate intentionality, plastic surgery, makeup, emaciation. Gay as a label actually does more to enforce the current structure, all of those who understand it have been pushed into a role. Again, identities can be a trap. This Pete Buttigieg, sodomite Patrick Bateman pantomime trick will not work, the homosexual cannot be constrained by this identity. The platonic ideal is male friendship, grooming gangs, beautiful boys and maybe some girls too. The civilization ending potential of prime A grade high quality bussy can not be underestimated.
n Signs of Male Beauty: Everyone has heard the take that ties point towards the penis and draw attention to it. The real take is that physical fitness does the same. The adam's apple, a sign of high test, makes the neck sharp and cordoned off. Neck veins and arm veins are phallic. The heart is beautiful in a sexual way, the male body should always be pulsating with power.
On the Disgust Reflex in Attraction: Disgust reflex in men is noticeably hindered while arousal occurs, this means you would do things that are normally disgusting. Also a possible origin of fetishes, as attraction can be connected to taboos, conflating the two. Also as an impulse for male reproduction, again boring evo psych type shit....This is why fat people are still able to reproduce, why if it looks like a girl im cool, etc etc
ON BAPISM, a Tragic Project:The BAP people larp as musclemen, cynics and realists of the highest order, both in regards to the body and to the body politic. However, the core of BAPism is a tragic LARP. They dream of being pirates on the seas, exploring Africa and fighting/avoiding the evil empires and nation states that will eventually take over the world. They romanticise Rhodesia, a failed project that was known for its ridiculous casualty count, and its “heroic” sacrifice that ended in all of them dying anyway. The ideal death of a BAPtist involves mowing down hordes of orclike savages (yuck) and then eventually being swarmed and dying a tragic death. As much as the BAP people use homoeroticism (the straight kind) to distinguish themselves from the christian origin of their movement, they inevitably fall back into the christian mode. They are disciples of the Greek masculine ideal, and they plan to be crucified in the vain hope that it will reignite a “Holy Roman Empire” of weightlifting and body populism. This explains the obsession with phizeek, big boy aesthetic ideal; they are at a beauty pageant, planning out how they will look on their crosses. Even as they pray for strength and beauty, it is only done to further the ghey color revolution of jacked dudes, they are doing ghey cia op in syria, their assad is big pink hair manager cut white lady. This magical thinking will not end well. I have nothing against BAP, but this magical thinking will not end well.
On avoiding drugs: I avoid all drugs that slow me down. I avoid weed, I avoid Benzos, I avoid opiates, and most of all I avoid alcohol. Drugs that slow you down make you weak, and they make you vulnerable. So many relationships, great cons, and powerful men have been ended by alcohol. There’s no need for it either, the numbing of consciousness is a sign of weakness. Most altered states of consciousness are a crutch that prevents people from living with themselves. I would consider E, Addy, Coffee, and Acid to all be exceptions to this rule. Stimulants will always be awesome, when given the respect they deserve.
On being a control freak: Controlling other people is the only activity that’s worthwhile. Power means controlling people, but not all power is equal. The goal is to be an artist, an athlete of manipulation. Controlling people with physical force and economic extortion is gouache and weak. Influencing others through psychosocial manipulation, gaslighting, and word games is the true aristocratic pastime. The most dangerous game is played in our own heads during every conversation. Women are weak, and weak men are women. Never let your guard down, never stop doing the bit, and never take off the mask. The goal is to see what you can get people to do. If you’ve read this far I've already got you. You’re in too deep. Now you’re smiling, I can tell. You’re having fun, so even though I’m punking you; keep reading.
On Easy Dopamine Tricks for Twitter: I’m going to try to turn gaining twitter followers in any given community into a game, a systematic process even a robot could do. First of all, account aesthetics are easy, just copy the symbols and images of the head of any community, and impersonate their posting style. Follow accounts with good follower to follow ratios, and churn followers until you hit 600, things should snowball. Then, use a combination of controversial takes, logical explanations, and personally affronting bait (shit testing basically) to get clout and make viral content. Always aim for retweets, follow everyone in the circle, everything compounds and you can lay back after around 1-2k, retweet old threads, link old posts, etc etc, turn on Notifications for people who you want to follow and retweet you, interact with their content until they eventually like and retweet you... Easy enough to just quote tweet their shit with some endorsement and then repeat what the original is saying, BAM I SOLVED TWITTER!
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